Thursday, June 14, 2007

Rudy's 12-Step Program

Here is Giuliani's 12 Step Program - I have helpfully decoded each step by adding a more accurate description of each of Rudy's points in highlighted text.

Rudy Giuliani’s 12 Commitments
by James Joyner

Rudy Giuliani gave a speech this afternoon announcing his “Twelve Commitments to the American people, a bold vision aimed at moving America forward through change and reform, overcoming new challenges and increasing accountability in Washington.”

Let’s take them one at a time, shall we?
1. I will keep America on offense in the Terrorists’ War on Us.
In other words – I will continue to poke Muslims in the Middle East with a sharp stick.
What the hell does that mean, exactly?
2. I will end illegal immigration, secure our borders, and identify every non-citizen in our nation.
Read – I will institute a national ID card and invade every Americans’ privacy.
No, you won’t. And, frankly, I wouldn’t want to give you (or anyone else) enough power to “identify every non-citizen in our nation.” There are over 300 million people living here, stretched across a continental landmass. How on earth would you do that?
3. I will restore fiscal discipline and cut wasteful Washington spending.
I will only fund projects that support my political backers, and I will continue to fund the military-industrial complex.
I’m for that. How would you define wasteful spending? How much would you cut it? How would you persuade Congress?
4. I will cut taxes and reform the tax code.
I will continue to reward the top 1% of the wealthiest Americans, while the middle-class will continue to get screwed.
Which taxes? By how much? Reform how?
5. I will impose accountability on Washington.
I will run Washington like I ran NYC, shoving all the unsightly stuff under the rug (will Georgie be leaving his yellow ruggie behind?).
How so? We’ve got elections, separation of powers, and checks and balances. What would you add? Is it Constitutional?
6. I will lead America towards energy independence.
I will drill in ANWR and reward the American auto industry while ignoring sensible solutions like the cultivation of industrial hemp.
I’m for that. How would you achieve it? What will it cost?
7. I will give Americans more control over, and access to, healthcare with affordable and portable free-market solutions.
I will privatize Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid and eliminate virtually all safety nets for needy citizens.
I’m confused. Is this going to be done by the government or the free market? Anyway, I’ve already got plenty of control and access.
8. I will increase adoptions, decrease abortions, and protect the quality of life for our children.
I will slash publicly-funded pre-natal care, and continue to pander to the religious right by funding more unsuccessful abstinence-only education.
From the White House? How? You’re already going to be chasing terrorists, illegal aliens, and looking for oil.
9. I will reform the legal system and appoint strict constructionist judges.
I will continue, in the tradition of George W. Bush, to appoint judges who are only activists on issues that I believe that they should inject themselves (privacy issues, death penalty, wire-tapping under the guise of national security, etc…)
Reform in what manner? Will these judges be confirmable?
10. I will ensure that every community in America is prepared for terrorist attacks and natural disasters.
I will ensure that homeland security funds are spent to line the pockets of corporations by awarding no-bid contracts to said corporations, and will ignore the needs of communities devasted by hurricanes, tornadoes, droughts, floods, and earthquakes.
Have you ever heard of Federalism? Anyway, 99.9% of the communities in America are in essentially no danger from terrorism, so why would you expend federal resources on protecting them?
11. I will provide access to a quality education to every child in America by giving real school choice to parents.
I will continue to promote the demise of America’s public education system, by redirecting education funds away from public schools to vouchers that support private, exclusive, often religious schools.
No, you won’t. You’d never get it through Congress, for starters, and the courts would likely strike down any law that sent government money to religious schools.
12. I will expand America’s involvement in the global economy and strengthen our reputation around the world.
I will continue to bomb the bejesus out of any country who looks at us cross-eyed.
How could we be more involved in the global economy? And how are you going to do this while shutting down our borders, chasing illegal aliens, and stopping the import of energy from abroad
If any of the highlighted text sounds familiar, well it's all sloppy seconds from the current administration. So if you like what we've got now then Giuliani is your man. However, if you are sick to death of the current policies, then you have eight fine Democrats from which to chose.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Faye, you're a smart ass, but you keep us laughing!