Momma's Homemade Polish Sauerkraut
Start with bacon fat
Put the sauerkraut in the skillet with the bacon fat
Pour another tumbler of wine
Let the entire contents of the skillet burn until it's smokin'
Turn on the oven
Place a frozen Pizza in the oven
Call a friend and forget about the pizza until you smell something burning
Open oven - Extract charred pizza
Hell, who is Momma kidding?
She wouldn't dilute her wine with juice or seltzer water
Put wine in tumbler - DRINK
Momma's Homemade Margaritas
Hire an adorable boy bartender
Hand him a bag of limes and a bottle of Jose Cuervo
Go lie down on the couch (or the chair - depending on where Max has chosen to sit)
Wait for beautiful boy to deliver Margarita to the Momma
Can you say "Caliente"? or perhaps "Donde los Yikes!"
Momma's Nuked Yams (Thanks Liv!)