Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Recipes from Momma's Kitchen

In light of Cindy Lou McCain's lifting recipes from the Food Network (Rachel Ray, etc....) I thought Momma might like to put together a little cookbook of her own with a few of her inimitable recipes. Here are a few that come quickly to mind:

Momma's Homemade Polish Sauerkraut
Start with bacon fat
Put the sauerkraut in the skillet with the bacon fat
Pour another tumbler of wine
Let the entire contents of the skillet burn until it's smokin'
Then serve

Momma's Charred Frozen Pizza
Turn on the oven
Place a frozen Pizza in the oven
Call a friend and forget about the pizza until you smell something burning
Open oven - Extract charred pizza
Eat anyway

Momma's Wine Spritzer
Hell, who is Momma kidding?
She wouldn't dilute her wine with juice or seltzer water
Put wine in tumbler - DRINK

Momma's Homemade Margaritas
Hire an adorable boy bartender
Hand him a bag of limes and a bottle of Jose Cuervo
Go lie down on the couch (or the chair - depending on where Max has chosen to sit)
Wait for beautiful boy to deliver Margarita to the Momma
Can you say "Caliente"? or perhaps "Donde los Yikes!"

Momma's Nuked Yams (Thanks Liv!)
Wrap a yam in aluminum foil
Put it in the Microwave
Turn on Microwave
Blow up the office (or home)
Call Fire Dept
Make out with Hunky Fireman
Screw the yam (not literally, unless you are into that sort of thang)


When all else fails, pick up the phone and order take out :D

1 comment:

ravenshadow said...

ha!

that's funny!

xtra krispie