Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Are You Suffering from EAD
(Election Anxiety Disorder)?

If you, like me, have been unable to sleep, or eat, and can only find fleeting relaxation in a very large beverage or three, and you can trace the cause of this particular anxiety to the upcoming election, then you, my friend, may be suffering from Election Anxiety Disorder.
Articles like this one sure don't help calm my already frayed nerves:
Accuracy Of Polls a Question In Itself
Skeptics Challenge Assumptions Made

Here are a few of the symptoms of EAD (Election Anxiety Disorder):
1. Do you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with a disembodied head of John McCain chasing you to Canada?
2. Do you feel sick to your stomach every time somebody mentions Sarah Palin, Alaska, or the phrases "you betcha" or "guys and gals?"
3. Do you refresh the web sites or HuffPo more than twice every hour?
4. Have you begged your physician for a few xanax or valium just to get you through until next Wednesday?
5. Are you so blasted by the time that Rachel Maddow comes on that you have to stay up and watch her show again (which fortunately isn't a problem, as you haven't slept for at least a week)?
6. Is your credit card bill filled with charges to Obama for America, the DNC, and your local senatorial candidate?
7. Are you so disgusted that you can barely wave to your neighbors who have a McCain/Palin sign in their yard?
8. Do you listen to Stephanie Miller, Thom Hartmann, and Randi Rhodes all day at work until you are about to scream?
9. Are you watching Barack Obama's half hour show on the TV right now?
10. Are you a freakin' nervous wreck and have your friends and co-workers suggested that you ignore politics for the next week, but you know that it would be easier to give up heroin if you were a junkie?

If you answered yes to more than five of the above questions then you are likely suffering from EAD. All I can say is hang in there, stay busy by making phone calls, or voting early so that you can spend all day on November 4th driving other Democrats to the polls. Wear your Obama t-shirts, buttons, and bracelets whenever you can get away with it. Don't give up and know that we'll always have Canada if the Republicans steal 2008 (again), but I am hoping against hope that I don't have to move to Canada, that this year, this time, America will wake up and vote for a real future, a real change, real hope. Vote Obama/Biden 2008!!!

No comments: