Saturday, January 5, 2008
BREAKING: Steph and Dan Abrams Wed!
Breaking News: Stephanie Miller and Dan Abrams tied the knot in a simple ceremony at an undisclosed après-ski club in Telluride, Colorado. The bride wore a skanky sleeveless gown and the groom was manly and casual in a Ralph Lauren jacket and a Jerry Garcia tie. Max, Ms. Miller's 170 pound puppy, flew out to serve as the ring bearer, while Katie Holmes was drafted to be matron of honor (apparently Barbara Boxer was otherwise engaged). The bridegroom's party was not disclosed, but rumor has it that Tom Cruise may have served as the Best Man (as Tom apparently wouldn't let Katie off of her leash) while Suri filled in as flower girl (as neither Chris Lavoie nor Rebekah Baker could be reached on such sudden notice).
Readers may wonder about an earlier article that appeared in this blog in which Ms. Miller was rumored to have said "I do" to one, Mr. Keith Olbermann. Well, this stealth reporter has learned that hours before the ceremony Ms. Miller served Mr. Olbermann with delusional divorce papers (citing "irreconcilable psychosis") thereby annulling their mythical marriage, and thereby freeing Ms. Miller up to pursue her delusional relationship with Mr. Abrams.
We wish the happy couple well, and if this doesn't make Stephanie a permanent unsavory element on MSNBC, we're not sure what it will take. Bon Chance, Buena Suerte, Best Wishes, Kids!
Disclaimer - This blog post is as serious as the Goldwater/Miller 2008 Presidential Campaign (i.e. it is a parody posted for entertainment purposes only =)